Halloween has come to pass, I've always loved it, it's such a time where the air is filled with electricity and left and right you have unusual happenings.

Though this halloween I didn't do much. I did have fun, trick or treating with lisa and becky, clinging to those oh so fond memories of childhood as you walk through the blistering cold just to have a few laughs with friends. And Afterwords we drove through the graveyard to get some sense and feel of that spiritual energy that halloween is supposed to posses. Lol I know it may sound cheesy as hell, but I really would love some hard evidence on ghosts or of heaven and hell. I can never find such things though because my friends let their imaginations get the best of them ....( Becky!!! lol) maybe i'm just a little too analytical to let myself get carried away like that though, which is actually kind of sad because overanalyzing leads to the passing up of certain oppurtunites that you can get with such brash behavior

Bah I'm such a failure! I'm failing three out of four of my current classes and I know it's not because I'm a moron or anything, it's simply because I have trouble with doing my homework, and I find the dependancies on which our future rests with such trivial things to be a vulgar assessment. And as I have come to find, when I disagree with something I unintentionally rebel against it. Not really out of spite or anything, but I beleive to prove the accusor wrong. I need to rectify this though, because even though I know I can make myself into something good in the real world without passing these classes I don't want to dissappoint my mother... after all she's the one who has so much faith in me to do what she couldn't do, because of that lovely little gene in our genepool....brash decision making and quick love.

Lol I know it may seem I'm dragging this on, but if anything this journal thing is probably meant for me more than anyone because I have such trouble keeping up with my written diary. So doom on you if you're too lazy to read .

There's only one last thing I wanted to cover anyway, and it's probably not even something I should write on here... but lately, I'm just dying, absolutely dying. My stepsisters back, she's on the phone all night, and I can't sleep. When I can't sleep I think, and this results in overthinking and again going back to the overanalyzing.....I hate it, because then I begin to question the very essence of all that I am and the reason to my existance. Lisa seems to like me like this...lol I suppose because I have more of a tendancy to be phsycoanalytical on the people around me too, and I can tell you certain patterns that people evolve to that they didn't even recognize themselves...and maybe help come to a realization to a solution to complications that had plagued them for awile....oh damn i'm rambling.....alright i'm done, this is way more than I wanted to put...


oh and lisa....I did not Cannibalize my twin

....I absorbed him